Remembering the future

I heard this quote the other day and it stuck with me. In part, the timing, a couple days after hearing about the unexpected loss of a friend. Remembering the future, a weird play on words that I keep going back to.

With this news, it prompted a visit to a place that captured my heart in a bizarre way 8 years ago. A city and it’s people that shaped who I am today. I often compare my life now to my life 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago and I can very clearly break it up into different phases. I find myself in a struggle to balance my present phase “motherhood” with past phases such as “wild and free mid-20’s” or “working professional in the big city” to name a few. Part of me craves elements of my past and wanting to relive those – be it a trip to DC to walk our old neighborhood or a cold IPA and fish taco with friends in San Diego. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE motherhood, it is part of me and I know my life wouldn’t be complete without it. These early years with a little kid (and hopefully more) will be a phase just like all my other ones that I will look back on and try to relive. The interesting part is when I go back to relive those past phases, things have changed and people have changed but that is the beauty in all of it. I can’t go back to being 24 and jumping on a dive boat on a whim but I can still get on a dive boat with the same people and create new memories. Relationships also change and there are very few that stand the test of time and it isn’t without a lot of dedication. I don’t know what the future holds for me but I am reminded to appreciate the present, learn from the past and make time for the people that matter.

This might make zero sense to whoever reads it but writing is an outlet for me. I feel like the first year or motherhood fog is lifting and i’m thinking more clearly and with that comes sharing random bits on my little teeny tiny corner or the internet.

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